Never Gonna Give Up

A few weeks ago I was preparing my gear for my thru-hike, minding my own business and dreaming of spending the next six months in the company of nature.  Then, kind of out of nowhere, the Covid-19 pandemic hit the United States.  My brain was frantic, I was going, I wasn’t going, I was going, I wasn’t going….  Ultimately, you know I chose to delay my thru-hike.  It was the wisest and safest decision for me and my family.  But, wow.  I was disappointed!

Goal-Setting

There is usually a time in everyone’s life when we work toward a goal.  We study to pass a test, diet to lose 10 pounds, save money for a house, etc…  Sometimes we achieve our goal, but sometimes that goal gets shifted.  That test you studied for led you to a new goal of a doctoral presentation, you now need to lose 15 pounds, that money you were saving for a house is now paying for your car repairs.  Well, my goal of thru-hiking the Appalachian Trail has shifted.  Don’t get all nervous….it’s still my big picture and ultimate goal!  Right now that goal just isn’t reasonable in the next few months due to the Covid-19 pandemic.

In the past, I have always been so afraid to set a goal.  As soon as I set a goal, something usually sidetracks me and derails my progress (usually my inner fear).  I wrote about some of that fear in one of my past articles. Stand Still and Use Your Inner Compass This time, my goal was thwarted by something completely out of my control.  I had to find a new goal that I could control. Something that could direct me away from the disappointment I was feeling about not starting my thru hike.

Last year I completed the Allegany 18 Challenge You win some. You lose some.  and then the Western New York Winter Hiking Challenge and I remembered there was a NEW Western New York Hiking Challenge posted by Outside Chronicles.  The challenge asked you to complete 20 trails out of 32 (plus 2 bonus hikes).  I immediately clung to the goal of completing the challenge, telling only a few select friends that I wanted to be the first to complete it.

While hiking the trails of the challenge I savored every minute. There were bridges to cross or go under, trees climbed, muddy trails, waterfalls, abandoned ruins, a cemetery, a lighthouse, rusty things left in the forest, dog kisses, very interesting statues, big rocks, little rocks, amazing views, random signs, a snake’s nest, birds eating out of my hand and nature galore.

These photos are just some of the highlights:

 

I didn’t care when the trail was muddy, I didn’t care when it was cloudy, I didn’t care when it was raining.  I hiked up hill, I hiked down hill, I hiked the road, I hiked it all.  My friends hiked with me sometimes (keeping the proper social distance), they all helped me reach my new goal by encouraging me, keeping me laughing and pushing me up the hills.  And guess what?  I managed to be the first to complete the challenge. Go me!

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Now, that only means I completed 20 trails and there are 32 plus 2 bonus hikes…sooooo, you know what my next goal is then, don’t you?

If you would like to enter the hiking challenge, please visit Outside Chronicles WNY Hiking Challenge.  We have all summer and fall to complete the challenge!  Join me!

Happy Trails!

The Countdown is On!

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I can’t believe it.  Am I dreaming?  Is this real life?

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In 33 days I will embark on a life long dream to thru-hike the Appalachian Trail.  My palms are sweaty, my stomach is doing flips, and my brain is swirling with last-minute details.  I am in control of my nerves.  My nerves do not control me.  It’s been an incredible journey just getting this far.

There have been a million little things in the last few months that I’ve done to prepare.  I’ve been watching some really informative videos created by successful thru-hikers.  They have given me ideas on the type of gear to bring, how to put up my new tent, what food to bring, how to hang a bear bag, how to stretch your muscles after a long day, the best hostels to stay in and views not to miss on the trail.  I especially appreciate the videos on where to find the best hamburger and beer on the trail.  You know, the important stuff.

I took a minute or two (okay about an hour) to review some of my past articles.  Just to remind myself just how far I’ve come.  Sometimes I feel like a completely different person wrote those articles from way back in the beginning.  That girl had no idea what she was doing and I’m afraid I don’t know much more than that now!  One thing I know now is that I can ASK QUESTIONS.  Find someone who looks friendly and ask for help.  The hiking community is filled with generous, kind people who are eager to help and teach.  Thank goodness!

One of my most fond memories was my very first overnight backpacking trip with my friend Shelly.  I felt so bad for Shelly re-reading this.  I really was a whiner!  My article all about it is here: No Choice, Joyce.  Definitely one of my favorite articles.  Another favorite is my very, very first article.  Somewhere. Sometime.  That girl that wrote that was so excited to start this journey and I am so glad she’s coming with me!

In the last few weeks at home, I will continue to pack and unpack and pack my backpack again and again.  Layout all my items and fine-tune every last one.  How many band-aids do I need?  Should I take two buffs or one?  Do I really need a pillow? (YES!)  I’m making all the decisions with the knowledge that if a piece of my gear isn’t performing the way I’d hoped it would I can always replace or upgrade it at the next outfitter on the trail.  Or better yet, I’ll find what I need in a hiker box.  A hiker box is found in hostels and some shelters.  The box is filled with FREE gear that other hikers have abandoned.  Maybe it was a pair of heavy microspikes or a water filter plunger, or a pair of socks.  You just never know what might appear in a hiker box.  I once left a book in a hiker box.  It was way too heavy to continue carrying, so I left it.  I still don’t know how it ends.

Also in the last few weeks at home, I am going to EAT.   I need to have Bocces pizza and BarBill chicken wings before I go for sure!  And, in the last month or so, I’ve developed a little tendonitis in my ankle so I am going to physical therapy to strengthen my joints and increase my flexibility.

As much as I will enjoy every minute of the good, bad and ugly on the trail, I am going to miss a lot about home.  My bed, my electric blanket, my iPad, my running water, my TOILET!  Above all, I will miss my family and friends. There is decent cell service all along the trail so I plan to keep in touch when I can.  I wish I could squish everyone down and stuff them into my backpack and bring them along!  I created an Instagram account that I am going to try to update every day with a photo. Come with me!  Follow me at @Trailchaser2020.

Happy Trails!

 

R

Welp, I finally did it and then some.

I registered my thru-hike intention with The Appalachian Trail Conservancy.

The Conservancy asks people that hike the Appalachian Trail to register in order to better monitor the impact on the trail and its resources.  Sooooo, I did it!!!

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Yep.  My official start date will be March 22, 2020.  I wish I had the guts to start 2/20/2020.  That’s just a little to cold for me.  As it is March will be cold enough. So, there you have it folks.  Wow.  It’s like this will really happen!

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C’est fait.  E ‘fatto.  Esta hecho.  IT IS DONE!  Yes.  I quit my wonderful, well paying, comfortable JOB!

Now I will have more time to hike longer trails.  Woohoo!

Is this real life?

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So many emotions!  Am I crazy?  I’m going to climb mountains!!!  Did I do the right thing?  I will cross creeks, hike in the rain and get really smelly!!!!  Do I really think I can hike the whole thing?  I will be crawling on my hands and knees some parts of the trail!

Then I have people asking me all sorts of hard questions like:  Why don’t you wait until you retire?  Because, who knows how my knees will be by then!  What will you do for money?  My husband and I have been saving and planning for this.  How does your husband feel about you leaving him for six months?  He better be sad and miss me a lot!

All silliness aside, I don’t want to wait until I retire.  You never know what will happen tomorrow, so I want to do my living now.   I am forever grateful to my loving, supportive husband who works very hard for us.  He enjoys his job and supports me quitting mine to follow my lifelong dream.  I owe him – big time.  I also promised him I would be more frugal and keep my hike on budget.  Yes, he made a spreadsheet.

Oh no.  What am I feeling now????

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I’m NERVOUS. 

Nervousness is a whole bunch of emotions all trying to get out at the same time.  Fear, longing, concern, desire, doubt, and panic are a few emotions in my nervous packet.  You might have others in yours.  At the beginning of any solo hike I have a bout of the nervous jitters.  My knees feel wobbly, my hands sweat, my mouth goes dry and my breathing becomes faster.   This feeling stays with me for a quite a while into my hike.  While listening to the radio one morning I heard an interview of English actor, comedian, James Corden.  He does the carpool karaoke with famous people and he’s so funny!  This interview was about how he gets so nervous before performing that he sought professional help.  I am going to quote what he learned.  This is just copied from this cnn.com article: James Corden interview on CNN.

“This is a few years ago now, and then he taught me this thing that you’ve got to see nerves as a good thing. You’re only ever nervous when you want to do your best. You’re only ever nervous when something matters. So when nerves come, you’ve got to go, ‘Oh my God, this is great. I’m doing something that is important to me, and this is great that this thing has turned up to help me.’ ” James Corden.

So, I think I’ll be ready to apply this way of thinking on my next solo hike.  Maybe my knees will not be so wobbly and my hands won’t be sweaty.  It’s worth a shot!

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ALONE AND BRAVE

Oh, help me!  I read so many articles about hiking, but why, oh why, do I read the articles about hikers gone mysteriously missing, hikers shredded by mountain lions, hikers eaten by bears, hikers attacked by a machete wielding crazy person!  Oh, good grief, it gets in my head and stays there!

I’ve been so excited to work on completing my Allegany 18 challenge I woke up early on Sunday and drove the hour and a half to the park!  The park was so quiet.  At this time of year not many hardy souls venture out when the weather is iffy.  Do murderers?

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I headed to a short and sweet trail called Bear Springs.  BEAR!???!!!!???  Did that sign say BEAR???  Yes it did.  Well, psht, bears aren’t around trails, right.  Off I went. Out and back, easy peasy.  Well, it was a muddy trail and the trail stewards had been hard at work in the last few years building neat “board” walks to bypass the wettest areas.  I just love how unique each trail is.  This trail is very easy and highly recommended for old dogs with arthritis and husbands like mine.

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I found the marker on the tree for the challenge, raced up to the end of the trail and quickly made my way back to the car.  Look at me!  No make up, no hair products, completely au natural.  (Please don’t enlarge the photo.  I cannot be responsible for broken monitors.)  My mother always said I was a natural beauty.  I believe everything my mother says.

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I didn’t see any bears on “Bear” Spring trail, so I went next to Black Snake Mountain!  SNAKES!  I actually am not afraid of snakes.  Bring it!  Being brave and doing things that are uncomfortable are two things that I’m learning to be good at.  Black Snake Mountain Trail is 2.8 miles.  Sounds easy?  It’s Black Snake MOUNTAIN Trail.  But, yes, actually it was physically easy”ish” for me.  The not physical part where I remembered I was –ALONE!  ALL ALONE!  wasn’t as easy.

I tried to text my husband to let him know where I was, but I had NO SERVICE!  That’s okay;  my car’s at the trail head, so if I go missing, they’ll find my car.  WHY, WAS MY HEAD GOING “THERE”?  I shook it off and headed up the trail.

First thing I encounter?  A CREEPY SHED where a murderer could live!!

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I ran past that and picked up my pace.

This part of the trail goes up the mountain.  I took a lot of pictures because I stopped a lot to catch my breath.  AND to look behind me to make sure the murderer wasn’t following me.

The Allegany Challenge map indicated I would find a stone marker where I could be in two states at once.  I found it!

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One foot in Pennsylvania and one foot in New York.

For those few lovely moments I had forgotten about the murderer following me on the trail.

I was at the summit and realized I had cell service!  Quickly, I sent messages to my husband and best friend with a couple photos of where I was.  You know, in case of the murder.  Of course, I didn’t let on to them that I was afraid.  I felt like if I typed that out at that time, it would just make them worry more about me.  There were lots of birds singing – which is a good sign of nothing bad around.  I just kept telling myself that.  There at the summit was the marker I needed to prove I was here.  My phone will tell the story to the investigators when they find my body.

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At this point I reallllllly had to pee.  REEALLLYYYY bad!  So I peed in the woods.  I was buckling my pack and as all hikers should – I looked back at where I peed.  Guess what I saw??????  Not a murderer. Not a bear.  Not even a snake……

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MY PHONE!!!!!!!!

Of course it isn’t in the picture, because I used it to take the picture.  But, pfeeyoof!  I’m so glad I looked back to make sure I didn’t drop anything, because I DID! How could the detectives follow my trail if I lost my phone before I was murdered?

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Now, for some reason, I began to think of mountain lions.  WHY????  I didn’t even know if mountain lions lived where I was!  How could I not know this!  Seriously.  My brain went there.

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Not today, kitty.

I stood in the middle of the trail.  ALL ALONE.  ALONE and BRAVE!

So I sang a song.  “If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife. From my personal point of view, get an ugly girl to marry you.”  (Worth the click. It’s not me singing, don’t worry.)

Mountain lions do not like that song.  They must not, because I never saw one.

I did hear a dog bark.   Or was it a coyote?

There was no murder, no mauling, no investigation was necessary.  I made it back to my car in one piece.

What do we say to god of death?

Not today.

 

 

 

 

 

Cleaning your house

By cleaning your house, I actually mean the one that your soul lives in.  The physical body that your mother and father made for you.  The beautiful body that contains your thoughts, dreams, aches, and pains should be really cleaned out once or twice in your life.  Cleansed of negativity, cleansed of brain clutter, cleansed of – well, everything that makes the aches, pains and stress.  Now that it is winter, it is the perfect time to dig inside yourself, not just dig in the snow.  Dig inside yourself and shovel out that crap! (Figuratively and literally.)

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In my last article I talked about de-cluttering my home.  That is still a work in progress.  In the meantime, I’m taking three weeks this month to see what happens when I de-clutter the way I eat.   I tend to snack at night – on a big bowl of popcorn, or a few m-n-m’s.  I love to eat candy!  Chewy candy or caramels…yum!  So, needless to say, I gained a few pounds.  I’m not on any medicines, and I would like to keep it that way for the rest of my life!  So changes need to be made!

My friend introduced me to a wellness program called the Ultimate Reset .  Before I even read anything about it, I signed up.  Woah.  I panicked.  I spent money on health stuff.  That is not like me.  I must have a fever.   I took a deep breath and talked to my friend – shout out to Tabatha! She is a coach with Team Beachbody and a darn good one.  She always says the right thing to put me back on track and believe in myself.

This article isn’t to sell the program.  I don’t know enough about it to sell it.  The big thing that sold me on Ultimate Reset is that there is only light exercise involved.  If by some chance you want to know more, let me know and I can connect you to Tabatha.  These are just a few observations about my personal experiences during this process.

VERY, VERY simply, Ultimate Reset is a 21 day program where you gradually eliminate meat, dairy and sugar and all food that tastes good.  heheheh.  That’s not true.  At least that last part.  I’ve had great food and new foods!  Never had tempeh before this!  Or miso soup!  Actually, the Ultimate Reset says that it will “reset” my body’s inner workings and fine tune all my parts to make it strong and as healthy as possible. They name the three weeks: reclaim, release, restore.

Image result for week one imageRECLAIM!  I am reclaiming my body as my own.  I am reclaiming my health!  As I look back at week one it was challenging!  I had to spend a lot of money on food that I never knew existed (wakame seaweed, jicama, liquid aminos).  The meal prepping was mind boggling.  There were videos of other ladies drinking their “power greens” with their nose plugged because it smells so bad.  Doubts crept in.  The old familiar voice in my head started telling me I could never eat like this, I would never follow through, I was going to eat candy!  I didn’t feel like I was “reclaiming” anything!  Then.  Then, I spoke out loud to the voice in my head and told it to SHUT UP!  I reclaimed the voice in my head!

My fear of failure is still always there.  I set myself up for success this time by setting a lot of alarms on my phone. Reminding me to take the supplements on time, to eat breakfast, lunch and dinner, an alarm to remind me to go to bed!  If I had to remember it, I set an alarm for it.

The recipes and almost all the food was delicious (miso soup is not my favorite).  I learned to substitute things (veggie broth for the miso soup) and was brave in trying new foods – tempeh and wakame seaweed.  I even made nori gomasio.

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Nori Gomasio
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Zucchini Cashew Soup

The instructions of this program are that you are only to do light exercise, like walking or yoga.  It was freezing outside so I took my sister and nephew on a wintery hike in the woods.  My sister had a chickadee eat out of her hand for the first time.  She is now the newest Disney princess!  She is a master bird whisperer.

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Image result for week two imageRELEASE!  Please release me!  Release week is when you take a “detox” supplement that should help you “release” – be it physical, mental, and/or spiritual.  Looking back at Release week I remember I was excited that I didn’t have to buy as many groceries!  I’m released from grocery shopping!  Wait….am I going to be hungry?  Why am I only eating mashed chickpeas for breakfast?  What did I sign up for?  Then. Then, I released my concerns and followed the program.  I stopped my questioning and drank my power greens like a big girl and made some delicious, healthy meals.

The Releasing for me has been releasing control of my comfort.  Letting myself feel uncomfortable.

It’s okay to feel a little hungry.  For I know I will feel hungry while hiking the Appalachian Trail, so I might as well see how it feels now!

It’s not comfortable or fun cooking every single day for 21 days.  My husband and I ate at restaurants 3-4 times a week.  But, I’ll be cooking for myself nearly every day for six months on the Appalachian Trail.  Better get used to cooking!

Pushing away cravings for food is difficult for me.  I admit, I did sneak a teeny tiny piece of my husband’s steak while I was supposed to be eating vegan.  I might have accidentally put a teeny tiny piece of chocolate in my mouth.  I’m human.  One thing I really want is a big bowl of buttery, salty popcorn.  But on the Appalachian Trail, I won’t be able to succumb to cravings, so I better figure out how to manage them now.

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On a side note: My dreams have been spectacular!  So vivid and funny.  In one, my husband and I were flying (just our bodies, no plane or spaceship) into outer space and nearly collided with a satellite.  My husband was supposed to know where the parachutes were to go back to Earth, but he wasn’t sure.  Somehow we landed and NASA was interrogating us about our trip.  Then my friend Linda showed up and said that next time we should look up where the satellites are first, so we don’t almost hit one.  Seriously, I dreamed this!  The only thing I had to eat before bed was a big glass of water.

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RESTORE!  Week three!  What a week it was!  I ate roasted fennel (my favorite) and other veggies, tons and tons of fruit and started a new supplement to put the good bacteria back in my gut.  Well, I started out the week by getting sick. Puking sick.  I haven’t thrown up in a long time!  Some of my friends on the same program said I had a flu.  Sure felt like it.  Being sick and on a diet is so hard.  My body just wanted comfort food and not power greens.  This week is supposed to be entirely vegan.  I failed.  I am not ashamed.  I didn’t feel good!  My husband made me a scrambled egg because if I threw up again, it wouldn’t hurt coming back up.  The next day I stayed home from work because my stomach still didn’t feel right.  I ate most of the food suggested, but I added a very small chunk of fresh chicken my husband made to the salad I had for lunch.  I skipped a half day of supplements and stopped taking power greens.  Again.  It’s what I felt like I needed to do to feel better.  The next day I was back to the program.  Only you know your body best.  It’s great to push yourself, but don’t make yourself miserable.

As you can see from the length of this section and lack of pictures, this week was tough for me.  It’s the week before Christmas so I was extremely busy, extremely sick and getting tired of having to prep and plan every meal.  By the end of the week I did have a couple slip ups.  But I did the best I could.

My program results are about what I expected.  I am excited to say I am down over ten pounds and four inches all around.  My energy level has improved and I slept better than ever.  Amazingly, my GERD has not been an issue at all during this.  I did make sure I didn’t eat problem foods, of course.  As I transition back to eating meat protein I will see how I feel and take careful notice of what I eat that makes me feel tired, bloated, and sick.

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There are some other programs by Beachbody that Tabatha has suggested I try starting in the new year!  I’m excited to continue this great process of getting stronger and healthier in order to make sure my thru hike of the Appalachian Trail is a success!

Now go be healthy!

 

 

Oh, for crying out loud.

When things get difficult I tend to give up. Well, not this time folks.  These past few months have been challenging for me.  Nothing earth shattering or life threatening, just things happening that had me down in the dumps.

Hiking for me has always been a way for me to get away from it all.  The woods are place of peace and calm.  My soul just soaks it up.  Unfortunately, the last time I went on a serious hike, it wasn’t a completely enjoyable experience.  I don’t want to relive it, so I won’t write about it.  Let’s just say that it didn’t go as planned and I felt like a failure and a phony.  It took me a little while to get over that, but I did.  We all have experiences that don’t go the way we think they should.  I learned from it, I learned A LOT from it.

On top of that, my health hasn’t been cooperating.  I seem to have acquired GERD –

Gastroesophageal Reflux Disease 

It is crazy how something like “acid reflux” can make it difficult to just walk down the driveway or across the street – there’s no way I was hiking out in the woods!  The pressure and pain in my chest was scary until I had a doctor confirm it wasn’t my heart.   Now the doctor is trying to find a solution to make me more comfortable so when I am active I don’t feel like I’m having a heart attack.  Needless to say, I have been a little depressed and disappointed that I haven’t felt well enough to train for my adventure.

Well, since I am unable to physically train, I have been researching light-weight and ultra-light-weight gear.  This is one way of many to help me guarantee success on my Appalachian Trail hike – keep my pack weight LOW!  There are many websites that offer advice on light weight gear, I’ve tried to read them all.  My pack is about 30 pounds with food and water, so I hope to be able to get down to about 15 pounds.  With a little money and not a lot of sacrifice!  We shall see.

Thanks for sticking with me! Even when the going gets tough, the tough keep going!

Onward!

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Way Outside my Comfort Zone

We are our own worst critics.  At least I know I judge myself harshly.  I pick on myself and my faults.  I tear myself down to the core at times.  I don’t feel like I am good enough, thin enough, smart enough, tall enough, tough enough.  You might be thinking…NO way, Trailchaser2020, you are all of those things.  Well, thank you, but sometimes I don’t believe it.  In fact, some days I really believe that I will never hike the Appalachian Trail.  No matter how much I talk about it and train for it, it just won’t happen for some reason or another.  I’ll find some “excuse” that will stop me.

One small obstacle that could prevent me from hiking the trail is my physical condition.  I’ve read stories how some hikers have never hiked a day in their life before completing the trail.  I’ve also read about middle aged women hiking the trail and breaking a leg!  So, to err on the side of caution I decided to jump out of my comfort zone and join some exercise classes.

I DO NOT EXERCISE.

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Disclaimer: This is not me.

Now, I have taken a Yoga class or two.  I’ll hike and walk outside all day, too.  But a real exercise class with a teacher in the front and a bunch of strangers all around me while my fat bounces up and down is NOT what I would sign up for.  But I DID!

Our little town has a community education program that offers a 20/20/20 class(20 minutes of aerobics, 20 minutes of cardio and 20 minutes of weights) and a Yoga class.  The session is 8 classes once a week.  The classes are held in the local primary school (five minutes from my house!) and my insurance company covered the ENTIRE cost of these classes!  So, I signed up for BOTH classes so that I will be exercising each Wednesday and Thursday for eight weeks.  Oh boy.

Well, I missed the first 20/20/20 class because I had to go to the dentist.  I was actually GLAD to go to the dentist so I didn’t have to exercise!  But, I did go to Yoga the first week. I couldn’t think of any good excuse for me to miss it.  Imagine my delighted surprise when I tried to open the doors at the school and everything was locked.  I tried a side door.  Locked.  Secretly I was rejoicing that I didn’t have to go to Yoga.  I headed back to my car when I heard a lady yell at me that the door was now open.  Rats.  I guess I was going to Yoga.  There were about 10 women in the class and it was okay.  I didn’t die.  My clothes weren’t “Yoga” clothes, my mat was too thin, I was too fat to bend the way I thought I should – WHAT was I doing here?!?!  Then the instructor told us to breathe.  And I did. I no longer cared that my shirt was exposing my fat stomach, I doubled up my mat when my knees hurt and I just bent over as far as my body would let me.  The teacher was so nice!  And Yoga, is just so peaceful.  It’s impossible for me to not like practicing Yoga.  At the end of the class when you are just melting into the floor my mind drifted to the Appalachian Trail and how Yoga will help with my flexibility, stamina and balance.

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The second week approached and yes, I actually called the lady running the program asking how I can get out of the 20/20/20 class.  She wouldn’t let me.  She offered different locations and days, but no; I HAD to go or pay the price since my insurance wouldn’t pay them if I didn’t go. So I went.  I was freaking out!  Even as the instructor started explaining the aerobic steps I was swearing in my head.  I was telling myself that I hate aerobics, I hate dancing, I hate the music she was playing, I hate the lighting in the gym, I was tired, I was getting a headache, I was hungry.  And then I just did it.  I was doing aerobics while I was dancing to the music I hated under the bright lights with energy I didn’t know I had while suffering from a little headache and hunger.  I did it.  It wasn’t so bad.

You know what?  I am actually proud of myself.  Was I comfortable at the classes?  Heck, no.  My comfort zone was two time zones away!  But, I laughed at myself when I was facing front instead of facing back or raising my left leg instead of my right leg.  I made up my own steps instead of doing a “step ball chain.”  What on earth are my feet supposed to be doing???? I probably have the name of the step wrong because Google didn’t even know what I was talking about!

Learning to not be so hard on myself is tough.  I doubt I’ll ever succeed.

See what I did there?

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